The Room

In the heart, there is a room
That holds your deepest, darkest gloom.
Inside that gloom there is a fright
That your soul is no longer in sight.
You cannot see quite who you are,
Or the path you’ve trudged through thus far.
Lamenting every choice you’ve made,
Desperately trying to evade
The ever present watchful eye
Of hateful judgement creeping nigh.

Why are you fat? Why are you black?
Why haven’t you corrected that?
Why aren’t you thin? Why aren’t you in?
You should hate yourself for not being them.
If not for status, then for glory
Fit into a category
So the world can know you fit in where
It can throw you into deep despair.
Pressure bares down with no stop in sight
Inside of self-loathing where you lay every night.

Locked away in this lightless room,
You exist while in this darkened tomb.
A tomb where no escape can be seen.
In this very darkness, you should wait and glean.
Acquaint yourself with the walls,
For soon the partitions will surely fall.
In this dorm of dread and terror,
Darkness will make your vision clearer.
Appearing bright and luminous,
A light of strength shines through the dust.

This guiding force comes from within
The same room you dare not lay again.
Gloom and fear find it a bane,
This radiant light, agent of change.
If you need a name, then call it hope,
Find it and hope will loosen your rope
With which hate and total, utter despair
Will lynch your soul, right then and there.
This light that shines bright and best
Can be found waiting inside your darkness.

more by E. J. Tanner

Photograph by Hannu-Pekka Peuranen