Talk 3 – Drive

by Peter Odeon · 17 July 2017

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Short Story

Nobody is happy! Especially your friend.
You are wrong.
Well nobody is happy all the time. It comes and goes, mostly goes.
Like this guy, look at him.
Who?
The guy trying to park that monster of a car outside.
What about him?
He has bought that expensive four by four to try to make himself happy.
That is not the case.
Yes, it is. And now trying to fit it in that parking lot his happiness is flying away. What is wrong with people in this country! They steal, steal, steal from everyone they can. For what, so they can buy themselves a big car and show to everyone how much they stole?
Maybe he worked hard for it.
I doubt it.
I don’t. I know he didn’t steal or work hard.
What, do you know this guy?
Yes, and he is coming here to search for happiness in a cup of coffee like you.
If he didn’t steal or work hard how did he get this car?
That’s not his car. I’ll let him explain. I’ll make him a coffee.
I will take one more.
How about you?
I am good. Three coffees you are searching for happiness in it?
Sure I am.
There he is. I got you a long coffee.
Thanks man, I deserve it.
Why, did you do laundry?
Yes sir.
And that is an achievement?
Who are these two?
First timers. We were discussing your parking skills.
Ah, that piece of crap there is too big, I am not used to it.
So it’s not yours?
I told you it’s not his.
What is this judgement day? I would never buy a car like that.
Why not?
It’s for depressed people. Or people who need the admiration of others. Unless you live in the mountains where you could use the big wheels. For the city this is a stupid car.
Whose is it?
My uncle, he is having a crisis. If he doesn’t drink around the clock he buys cars.
And you took it for a spin to show off?
Who are you? No! I am collecting it from the bar he left it at last night. He is sleeping for the next two days, so his wife called me to bring it back.
I see.
This coffee is good.
And was that with the laundry?
Slow down we just met.
We are just talking not getting undressed.
Did you put a little something, something extra in his coffee?
No, I don’t do that to strangers. Was mission laundry successful?
Sir, yes, sir. My unit is reporting back to base for our medals.
You deserve it.
Please explain.
Do you like doing laundry?
No, nobody does.
Exactly. How often do you do it?
Once a week.
Amateur.
Indeed.
What do you mean?
I don’t drink coffee.
You are doing it right now.
Yes that is my medal for doing laundry.
Do elaborate.
There are many routine tasks in adult life that we wish our mothers would still do for us. Laundry is certainly on top of my list of those.
My mother still does my laundry. She comes over and cleans my apartment once a month.
I feel sorry for you.
Don’t, it’s awesome.
No it’s not, it’s sad. Anyway let’s not get carried away. I have devised a scheme for my laundry.
What is that?
I set a goal to acquire enough garments to last me a month. And now I only do laundry once a month. That also saves me time. About ten hours monthly from not doing it every week.
But don’t your laundry basket start to smell after a month?
Well, I don’t shit in my trousers any more either.
I still do it sometimes.
Sometimes it’s fine for fun. You can take pictures and send them to your friends.
When you are done laughing I will go on.
Please do.
So I used to drink coffee, right. Two, sometimes three a day. I had to stop before I start climbing the walls. But coffee stayed in my thoughts. So I said to myself, I will reward myself with a nice cup of coffee on the day I do laundry. Once a month, that is. That way the unpleasant task of washing and folding became something I look forward to.
Because you know you will get a coffee after.
Precisely.
Does it work all the time?
Nothing works all the time.
Except the atomic clocks.
Even they will stop when the last uranium atom splits.
The sun!
The sun is just like a giant atomic clock.
Hm, it is I guess.
From our perspective it’s eternal but in the face of the universe it’s just a candle.
I went to church yesterday for the first time in years.
Why?
To light a candle.